Sometimes I have to let off a little steam after the workweek. Sometimes I have to let off a lot.
So I’m starting a new series on Friday nights. The point is to unearth the weakness that holds us back in life. To get at the heart of our faults. Face them straight on. Stare right into their ugly fucking mugs and say “Hey asshole, I know who you are. And I don’t like the look of you one bit.”
This series is about uncovering Truth.
It’s about the disconnect between who we are vs. who we want to be.
And it’s about pain. Lots of pain.
Because Truth just fucking hurts. That’s why we prefer to blind ourselves to it. Ignore it. We just want to carry on our merry way, pretending that nothing is wrong. Everything is just peachy keen.
But is it?
If you find yourself at the edge of an all too wide chasm, staring across to the life you want to live — far off on the other side — then this series is for you. If all is well in your world, then perhaps it’s just best to skip these posts. They’re meant for those in the midst of personal upheaval. For those starting a new path.
But if you’re willing to accept the ugly truth, the path begins here. With the first step . . .
Acceptance.
Acceptance is the hardest part. That’s why we hit it first. It’s the essence of this entire series. It does no good to look at our faults without accepting them for what they are. They define us just as much as our virtues.
For some of us, our faults define us even more.
Well I say enough of that shit. It’s time we get to know the enemy. And our worst enemy is always ourselves.
So if you’re able to face Truth; if you’re willing to look deep inside yourself and examine all those little black knots that bring you down and bring you pain; then you already have a head start on your path to change . . . on your path to healing.
This is not going to be some fun upbeat ass-kissing schmooze-fest. We’re not here to try and feel better about ourselves. We’re not going to just blindly accept ourselves for who we are and pretend to love ourselves all the same.
Fuck that.
We want only one thing . . . to be better. Better than we were. Better than we are now. We want to see real fucking change!
Not that pseudo-positive “everything will work itself out” bullshit. We know the world doesn’t work that way. We’re not stupid. Things will only change when we stand the fuck up and change them ourselves. When we change ourselves.
And it starts with acceptance.
So prepare to be hit – and hit hard. Sometimes we need a pat on the back, but lets face it . . . more often than not, what we actually need is a swift kick in the ass.
Cheers!
Update — the following posts are part of this series:
The 6 Most Damaging Lies You Tell Yourself (and the Hard Truths You Must Face)
Quit Cowering! Live Your Damn Life!
The Short No B.S. Guide to Changing Your Life Forever
How to Make a Stand, Find Your Power, and Stop Getting Pushed Around
Fess Up: Have You Been Acting Like a Little Bitch?
4 Self-Help Myths Shattered, Crushed, and Stomped into the Ground
7 Surefire Ways to Fail at Everything That Matters in Life
Kill Wishful Thinking and Finally Take Back Your Life
Photo credit: Sweet son at Stock.xchng
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“So prepare to be hit – and hit hard. Sometimes we need a pat on the back, but lets face it . . . more often than not, what we actually need is a swift kick in the ass.”
Hey Trevor… I have to admit I laughed out loud when I read this last paragraph. It wreaks of truth.
I wish you the best with this Friday night series. I, for one, will be paying attention since Friday nights are one of my favorite times of the week.
For me, I get excited because we spar in my Taekwondo class on Friday nights. I can tell you there is nothing more exhilarating than a middle aged, line-backer sized guy getting kicked in the head (twice) by a much smaller, pre-teen, second degree, black belt … girl. Not that I’m proud of this. But it’s definitely kick in the ass (and head) … telling me I’ve got a very long way to go.
Taekwondo is funny. You tend to walk in thinking you’re bad ass until the instructor gives you some complex combination kicking drill to do that quickly exposes every weakness and brings out your inner tard. I almost always excuse my awful technique and execution with … “Man … we need to do this more often.” And it’s true … if you want to be successful at something you really suck at … then you need to do more of it. There’s just no other way around it.
Nonetheless, I came home and knocked out 110 push-ups in 2 sets, treated myself to a shower, and am now parked with my dog and a few beers. A pat on the back of sorts.
If you’re going to have to have a swift kick in the ass, you also have to balance with a pat on the back; especially after a long week wrestling with a day job and getting kicked in the head by a girl. But I digress.
I just wanted to drop in and let you know we’re watching and reading. Looking forward to many more Friday nights!
Glad you’re tuning in Jeffrey. After getting your ass handed to you by this pre-teen girl, it sounds like you’ve earned a few beers and a pat on the back. It’s funny how humbling a few smacks to the head can be.
That’s what I’m aiming for with this series. It’s really just a self-assessment.
You took you shots in Taekwondo and afterwards, you knew exactly where you stood. And you also knew you had to get better. So you got home and hit those pushups (damn impressive, by the way) *first* before hitting the brew.
I’m hoping this series will reach out to those with a similar mindset. It requires a long hard look at ourselves to see who we really are. But once we know where we stand, we’ll finally be able to move forward.
Thanks for sharing your story Jeffrey. It was funny, but insightful all the same.
Cheers!
Sounds great. In the end I’ve always believed that all advice and all self help literature comes down to addressing three key questions (here I go with my theme/catogorization thinking again).
1. Who am I REALLY (Includes weaknesses and strong points, and everything else)
2. Who do I REALLY want to be?
3. How do I get there?
Good stuff – looking forward to what you have to share.
That pretty much sums up my thinking on the subject as well. But it sounds so easy when listed as bullet points. Each area comes with it’s own set of challenges. Areas overlap. We continually adjust our definitions and assessments as we go. And we occasionally stumble and have to take a step back.
It can be one hell of a struggle.
This series aims to address your first point. Discovering who we really are lays the foundation for all the change to come.
I also believe that coming to know oneself is the darkest part of personal development. Most of the stuff I’ve read merely glosses over it. Treats it like an afterthought. Maybe they just don’t want to burst anyone’s happy little bubble. Gotta keep things positive in this self-help biz, you know.
But that’s a load of shit. It’s willful ignorance. Or maybe it’s just that pain just doesn’t sell.
Anyone who’s looked inside deep enough will know the hurt that lies within.
If we don’t face our hurt, if we don’t acknowledge our pain, we will never find the sure footing needed to make real change.
Cheers!