Fess Up: Have You Been Acting Like a Little Bitch?


Baby Tantrum

(This post is part of the Friday Night Kick in the Ass series.)


I get it. Life is fucking hard. Nobody ever gave two shits about you and the world treats you just the same.


You’re a good person. You try to help when you can. You always put others first. You say your prayers, live right, and even give that homeless guy with the “aNyThInG heLpS” sign your change when you stop at his corner.


At work you keep your head down and plug away, while that loudmouth jerk-off in the cubicle down the hall has been fast-tracked for management.


In love, you’re generous and thoughtful, but for some reason you always end up getting stepped on. Crushed into the dirt. Just a plaything.


Even though you eat your 5 small low fat meals everyday you’re still overweight and don’t know what to do about it. Food just turns to fat on you, while others eat high cholesterol steak and eggs and still manage to keep trim.


Why you? What the fuck did you ever do to deserve this shit?


It’s just not fair.


Whoa there buddy! Better take a step back.


Life isn’t fair?


Well no shit.


Life ain’t fair. It’s a fact. So what can you do about it?


Absolutely nothing.


Life never has been fair. And it never will be fair. It’s probably a good thing . . . just imagine a world in which we all got what we deserved.


So life isn’t fair. Get over it. Because whining ain’t gonna make it any less unfair. It just leads you to surrender what control of your life you do have. How’s that going to work for you?


It’s not. It’s only going to make things worse and lead to . . . you guessed it: more whining.


See the pattern? It’s a nasty cycle and so easy to get trapped into. I’ve been there. Angry at the world and bitter about the state of my life — yet doing jack shit to make it any better.


Yep, I just used to act like a little bitch.


Certainly never got me anywhere.


Just accepting your lot in life is the worst possible thing you can do. Let’s call it what it is: giving up.


Fuck that.


I say embrace your struggles. You don’t have to like ‘em, but at least you can determine how they define you. Are they going to make you depressed and fragile? Pessimistic? Weak?


Or are they going to make you stronger? Are they going to teach you valuable lessons you can use to improve yourself?


It just isn’t fair.


No. It isn’t.


And that ain’t gonna change. So why not use it? Make it your goddamn mantra:


“Life ain’t fair. But that doesn’t matter for shit. Because I’m not leaving my life to chance. I’m not putting my fate in anyone’s hands but my own. I am in charge of how I live. I am in charge of who I am. I’ll make my own fucking path.”


Tough times are inevitable. And you may very well experience more than your fair share of them.


Are they going to build your character or tear it down?


It’s up to you.



(Photo by tamakisono at flickr.)

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  1. This week has been busy and I’ll admit I’ve bitched a little about that. Sometimes a little bitching can help, though.

    • Ha! That’s true Dan. A little bitching can sometimes go a long way towards relieving some stress. But then again, I’ve seen some people bitch themselves into a bitching frenzy. I guess it’s just how you bitch that matters.


  2. As usual, your post is like a swift kick to the throat. I’ve been feeling like a little bitch for some time now as I wrestle with walking away from a six-figure job (that is toxic) to pursue a business venture that I love. I just can’t (or won’t) make the leap because I have no financial safety net. My gut and my wife say, “Go for it!” but my fear holds me back. I’m miserable but I’m paying the bills…need to man up…

    • That’s a tough spot you’re in Rockford. Turning your back to a guaranteed six-figure income must be one hell of a scary thought. Some might even call it crazy. The more you have, the more you can lose. No wonder you’re scared. It’s easy to quit a low paying job at Walmart to pursue your dreams, but six figures is six figures.

      But if you’re miserable then my guess is the money is not worth it. Actually, I know it isn’t since you so clearly want to walk away from it.

      You have a tough choice to make.

      Good luck.

  3. Yep. I will always have to watch what I eat and make sure I exercise. My body type/chemistry/genetics whatever makes it super easy for me to gain weight. I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never be one of those women that can just eat whatever they want and not worry about it. Oh well!

    • At least you were able to come to terms with that fact Lisa. So many can’t come to grips with it so they just give up. Why bother?

      But that’s taking the easy way out. That’s letting circumstance dictate their lives instead of taking control themselves. And that never leads to happiness.

      Hard work is hard. Obviously. But for the right reason, it’s always worth it.


  4. Alright! I always like to say that you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you expect and demand. Whining isn’t going to get you what you deserve. You have to go out and get it, and if then you might not get it.
    Plus who said that life was ever supposed to be fair? And fair to whom? Who’s definition of fair are we talking about here?
    The question is how badly do you want it? What are you willing to do to overcome your environmental obstacles?
    I like Friday Night Kicks in the Ass!

    • Thanks Liz! I’m glad you like the series. You make a great point — you get what you expect and demand. In other words, you get what you work for. You get what you earn.

      So your point about fair in who’s eyes becomes very relevant. In our own eyes, we may not see things as fair. It’s human nature to think we’ve rightfully earned more than we’ve gotten. So fair becomes a very slippery slope.

      It definitely makes you think. Thanks for adding that great insight Liz!


  5. Oh my, I have been a bitch this week! Missed too many early get-ups compared to previous weeks, screwed up real nice.

    You may say that life is unfair, but is it, really? There will of course be times when people screw you over because they’re screwed up themselves, but that’s their problem, not yours, however tempting it might be to blame them for your own problems. If you get what you deserve and you’re not getting much, then quit bitchin’ and work harder.

    I always like to think of life as responding to deserve, not need. I try to be the same, if people deserve my time then they get it, otherwise find a way to deserve it. If you need money you won’t get it, however if you deserve it by working – it’ll inevitably come.

    A good attitude goes a long way, and if you’re always bitching about things they’ll never change, in fact don’t expect them to change – you’ve got to change.

    Great kick in the ass, Trevor!

    • Thanks Nick! The best way to overcome acting like a bitch is to admit when you have been. Seems like you got that down. Props buddy.

      I think the problem is that, whether we get what we deserved or not, we always think we deserved more. And if what we get isn’t so pleasant, then we don’t think we deserved it at all. As Liz pointed out, fair is in the eye of the beholder . . . and when we’re the beholder, our idea of “fair” will always be skewed.

      So yeah, bitching about things changes nothing. And never will.


  6. I often find myself verbalizing small complaints without even being able to stop it before it’s too late. When I hear other people complain, a part of me thinks they’re being a “little bitch,” then I realize I’m often the same person, but it is something I’m working on. I’m using tough times to build character instead of letting it tear me down and allow me to complain.

    • Then I’d say you’re on the right path Vincent. We all complain from time to time. It’s human nature. And sometimes we complain for good reason. But we need to know when to stop and just man the fuck up — either accept the situation or change it. Because constant whining is a trait that reflects weakness. It’s more useless than a pile of dog shit.


  7. Hi Trevor. I have seen you over on Vincent’s site and thought I would see if you had a site. I am so happy you do!

    This post resonated with me because I am so tired of hearing whining, and I love how you said that accepting your lot in life is equivalent to giving up. Well said and more of what people need to hear!

    • Thanks Tammy! I’m glad you decided to take a look.

      We can never pursue true growth if we’re unwilling to accept the hard truths. Acceptance is a bitch, but it’s absolutely vital to getting started. Without it, no change can ever occur.

      So I tell it like it is. Not everyone wants to hear it though.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing.


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