How to Quit Being a Loser (and Become a Winner) in Just 2 Simple Steps

Rocky Balboa by SDWelch1031

There are two kinds of people in this world: Winners and Losers. Am I being too harsh? Then how ‘bout “go-getters” and “no-getters”. Or maybe “players” and “played”. “Trumps” or “chumps.” Whatever you want to call ‘em, we’re talking about those who succeed and those who don’t.

Achievers vs. Dreamers

So which are you? Be honest now . . .

Sadly, for much of my adult life I fell squarely into the loser crowd. The ultimate “no-getter.” Nothin’ but pure bred, grade-A, certified prime chump. Napoleon Dynamite had nothing on me.

Those were dark days, my friend. Dark, dark days . . .

But now just water under the bridge. You see, I managed to turn it around. I actually quit being a loser and learned how to be a winner. It was a hard lesson (as they always seem to be), but once learned that lesson sticks with you for life.

And though the lesson may have been difficult for me to learn, the “how-to” was surprisingly simple. Turns out there were only 2 steps I had to follow . . . just 2 little steps to flip my entire life around.

So now I’m gonna let you in on the secret. My simple two-step strategy to turn you from “no-getter” to “go-getter.” Just be warned, simple does not mean easy. It rarely does. So here goes . . .

1. Quit Your Bitching

Seriously. Just knock that shit off. Nobody wants to hear it. I know, I know . . . life’s been rough. You never got a fair shake. The system’s keeping you down and you’re powerless against it. You had big dreams; you were gonna be a champ. A real winner. But the world kept knocking you down again and again.

“I never stood a chance.”

Well cry me a goddamn river.

So life’s been hard. So you’ve been treated unfairly. So you never got your big break.

Guess what? You and everyone else. Very few are born with silver spoon in mouth. Most who achieve something do so despite their circumstances. They work. They hustle.

And they don’t cry ”Whaaaaaaaaa” every time hardship comes knocking.

They take their hits and move on. They persist. They don’t ask for a kiss from mommy to make their owie feel all better.

Because that’s what children do. And losers.

Now let me tell you what all that bitching accomplishes. And remember, I speak from long experience here: bitching keeps you stuck. Bitching keeps you down. That’s right. It’s not the system keeping you down. It’s all that bitching. Nothing else.

You see, it’s not the cold cruel world that holds you back. It’s not fate and circumstance that make you powerless.

It’s you. You and you alone.

And all your bitching. Bitching is the sound of you giving all your power away. Every time life knocks you down you’re faced with a choice. You can stand back up, dust yourself off, and get back in the fight. Or you can sit there and cry about it.

Winners get back in the fight. Losers cry about it.

That’s what bitching really is . . . the sound of a loser crying.

So let me make this perfectly clear: you will never get anywhere in life so long as you continue to bitch about it. You will never accomplish a thing until you quit your whining and get back in the fight.

Which leads to our next step . . .

2. Get. The Fuck. UP!

Get off you ass and fight! Hit back already! You’ve been sittin’ on the mat feeling sorry for yourself for too damn long. Now it’s time to do some damage. Enough of the excuses. Enough of the bitching and whining.


Feelin’ bad about yourself because you’re overweight? Then do something about it.

Feel like you’re being pushed around at home or at work? Then do something about it.

Feel like you’re just a nobody going nowhere in life? Then do something about it.

I’m talking about action here. You need to step up and take action. Your world will never change until you change it yourself. And that change absolutely MUST start with you. There’s no way around it.

This is the hardest step. For those who are used to sittin’ on their ass bitching all day long, this can be damn near impossible. But if you don’t face the harsh truth: that your life is exactly what you made of it . . . and therefore exactly what you deserve, then you can never move forward. You will remain stuck until the day you die.

Think about that for a moment. Everything you hate about your life. Everything you hate about yourself. Always the same. Until the day you die.

Sounds like pure fucking hell, doesn’t it?

It sure did to me, all those years ago. That was my big “Oh Fuck” moment. Imagining another 50 years of the same. Fifty more years of misery.

So I said “Fuck that!”

And that’s exactly what you need to do. Because only losers give in. Only losers quit.

Are you ready to throw in the towel?

Fuck that.

Are you gonna curl up in a ball and cry the rest of your life away?

Fuck that!

Are you content to a life of scraps?

Fuck that!

Good. That means you’re already a winner. Losers settle for less, but winners always reach higher. So keep on reaching . . .



(Photo courtesy of SDWelch1031 @ flickr.)

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  1. simple does not mean easy. Its really true. Practice makes a man perfect. Never giveup until reach our goal. Great post.


  2. It really is this simple. Even for a simple mind like mine to understand.

    But man, does it take work! And even when you think you’ve kicked motivation in the ass and are on top of it, it takes more work to stay disciplined.

    There’s nothing I hate more than the ‘poor me’ whining – but everyone takes their own time realising this isn’t productive. And some never realise.

    There’s only one thing to say about people born with silver spoons in their mouths – that must have been one painful labour…

    • Ha! Painful labor indeed! But you’re right Raz, it takes work. It takes hella wordk. Nothing is harder than keeping disciplined. Well, at least for me anyway.

      But I’ll tell you, it’s that discipline that keeps you moving forward. It’s that discipline that keeps you from being just another poor-poor-me-crybaby. Because discipline is what separates the winners from the losers. And that’s why the winners deserve everything they get . . . they’ve earned it.


  3. Hilarious and awesome post Trevor – I kind of agree and disagree though.

    On one hand, you’re totally right. The life you have, and whether you’re satisfied with it, is totally of your making. The reality you dance around in is mostly in you’re mind, so naturally, it’s on you to change how you think about it if you want to melt all those barriers, most of which are of your own construction.

    Likewise, nothing happens if you just sit around thinking about it forever (I struggle with this one). You do have to go jump in the drink and get dirty, bouncing around off the specters of mistakes and disasters. You can’t get anywhere if you don’t actually try. “Anything you can do or dream you can begin it…” as that annoying quote admonishes.

    I guess that quote annoys me because you have to dream it first though. I’ve had a pretty hard time dreaming up a life outside the cataloge version we get served with cartoons in childhood – as Tyler Durdan says, go to school, get a job, get married, die. Complaints are part of the picture, but not all. A heavy helping of socially approved bull shit helps.

    In the same vein, I run around doing shit all day, but most of it isn’t the right shit, to wake up, to have a life and personality I respect. And I have watched a lot of people (my parents, for example) while away their lives being super busy ‘acting’, at jobs they don’t like, for bosses they hate, for money they don’t need, to buy shit they don’t want. So act, certainly, but don’t be so busy acting that you forget to shovel the BS out of your version of reality – a lifetime of work for many of us.

    We’ve had this conversation before though. At any rate, it seems to be there are a lot of dimensions in which to win or loose. Look at a lot of rich people, for example. They have money out the wazoo, and everything else in their lives is shit.

    You’re right though – as Rumi recently told me via facebook – It’s on you to decide the life you want. No one else. You have to make that choice. And if you don’t want the life you have… well that makes you a looser, doesn’t it? 🙂

    • Not wanting the life you have doesn’t make you a loser. But bitching about it while doing nothing to change it does. And understand, I use the term “loser” rather loosely. I like to make my points in no uncertain terms. Crystal clear, as it were.

      But you’re right, complaints are part of the picture. It’s human nature. There’s a huge difference, though, from the occasional complaint compared to the constant whining about how bad someone has it. I use to bitch all the time about almost everything. Especially how I was mistreated and held down by those “in power” and the system in general.

      It makes me fucking sick remembering the person I used to be. Loser, through and through.

      You’re a smart girl Morgan. But intelligence can be a prison in itself. It makes it damn near impossible to remain “blissfully unaware.” Some of the smartest people I’ve ever met also happen to be some of the biggest losers.

      So I don’t think being down in the dumps, so to speak, makes one a loser. I think it’s one’s attitude towards life that makes that call. Attitude is everything. Not intelligence. Not birthright. Not wealth, glory, or fame.

      Just attitude.


  4. This is so ridiculously true. So many people play the victim. But the world doesn’t owe you shit. Hand outs don’t happen. Action is the only way.

    Your point about your circumstances not changing until you do something is so on the money. Nothing good has ever happened from sitting on your ass and bitching about it. I remember when I was working a shitty nine to five and everyone in that place complained about the job but not a single one of them did anything about it. Meanwhile I was sleeping four hours a night, hustling every single day to get out of there.

    Another bombshell man. Thanks for linking to my post as well.

    • I hear you about the 9-5 thing. That shit can blow. And it’s true, so many people bitch about the work they’ve chosen. I used to do the same, back in the day. It’s sickening, really. It just goes back to what I said — by giving up responsibility for your situation (and bitching about it instead) you give up your power. So you remain stuck.

      Sadly, that kinda thing is pretty common. So many people “stuck” in jobs they hate working for people they hate even more. Such a fucked up situation. But one entirely of their own making. Glad to hear that you never fell into that trap. It’s just so damn easy to.


    • And that’s why you DID get out of there 😉

  5. I’d add a third step, but it may take awhile to reach this step. Know you already are a success. You’re already wealthy, good-looking and rich. You are a winner. You just have to believe it and live it.

    • Interesting. I’m a little torn on this one. One the one hand, I totally agree that each of us should be a success. Like you say, however, you have to believe and live it. That’s the hard part.

      So if you don’t believe it, and you’re not living it, are you really a success?

      I think the only way we can “know” that we’re a success is through a proven track record of accomplishment. We need to get shit done and carve a few notches in our belt before we ever begin to believe that we’re successful. As always, it comes down to action.


  6. I admire people that have that intrinsic desire to work their asses off even when their ego is screaming for the comfort of giving up. But, we have to keep going. Things may be hard and the desire to quit will always be there, it never goes away. The trick is to accept it’s existence and then tell it to shut the fuck up.

    I’m getting better at it.. one step at a time.

    Great words Trevor, thanks!

    • Thanks Jamie! Glad you liked it. I admire those same people. But it makes me wonder, are they any more intrinsically inclined to work their asses off than the rest of us? It sure seems like it. I mean, they make it look so easy.

      But is it?

      I’d be curious to know what’s going on inside their heads. They’re probably facing the same resistance we are. They just refuse to cave to it. And so they accomplish one thing after another until it becomes second nature to them. It’s ingrained. Trained . . . training we’re all capable of. As you seem to be discovering.


  7. I love your post . . . you hit the nail in the head and you are telling like it is. No one can ever get ahead by feeling sorry for themselves, and truly there is no point bitching about the failures that we experience. We all stumble, we all fail sometimes.

    In order for us to experience progress in our lives, we just have to stand up and try again. If don’t like our lives as they are, we just have to do something about it!!

    Thanks so much for sharing!

    • You’re welcome Xihla. And thank you for the kind words. You’re right, failure is just a part of life. Some accept that and use it to make themselves better, others let failure beat them down until they are failures. But it’s always a choice.


  8. “Who dares Wins” is not just the motto of the SAS. It’s a state of mind. Of course, the winner gets the ‘spoils’ but more importantly… the bragging rights 🙂 This is the reason why The Don will come up Trumps next year and wrest back America from the abyss. God Bless America!

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  10. Stupid advice. The fact is a lot of people do everything to help themselves and the system is really against them and despite doing everything to try and improve themselves it is impossible, so instead of calling them whiners when people have legitimate complaints that can’t be resolved why don’t you just write the truth that the system is against them and is easier to win the lottery than get a decent break ,most of the time it really isn’t “you” who is the problem but “them” and all these feel good bs stories about how you can do this if you really believe it and want it is a bunch of crap and the sooner people realize this , instead of living in a fantasy world where they can get out of the rut, the better off they are. Sure a few people make it but most don’t , remember most men live lives if quiet desperation

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