The Dirty on Personal Development

T-Bag's Child Puzzle

(Comic by Nijaz Sedic. Check out this post to learn more.)

 

I’m keeping this one short and to the point today. People have a tendency to over complicate things. The more difficult the problem we face, the more complicated the solution we come up with.

 

Because if the solution was simple, we’d have the problem solved already. Right?

 

But the flaw in this kind of thinking is the belief that simple equates to easy.

 

It doesn’t.

 

While simple solutions may sometimes be easy solutions, that is not always the case. In fact, sometimes the simplest solutions are the hardest.

 

Take personal development, for example. We’re attracted to the idea of personal growth because we are fundamentally unhappy with certain aspects of our lives. Sometimes with every aspect of our life.

 

So we look for ways we can improve it. We want solutions to better our lives and make us happier. We want to find fulfillment.

 

Hmmm . . . that’s one helluva difficult problem. Probably requires a complex answer with many steps, such as learning to love ourselves, thinking positively, setting goals, getting more sleep, daily meditations, becoming organized, downsizing, exercising, eating right, getting our finances in order, etc. etc.

 

Fuck.

 

Or maybe . . .

 

Maybe the answer is simple.

 

Change yourself.

 

Nah, it can’t be that. It’s too simple. Too easy.

 

Well yes, it’s simple. But no, it’s not easy. It’s about as far from easy as you can get.

 

Anybody who believes that changing themselves will be anything but a serious struggle is out of their fucking mind. The truth is that it will likely be the hardest challenge you’ll ever face. We’re talking about changing your very nature. Changing who you are to your core.

 

Changing an actual human being.

 

Simple solution. Fucking hard as hell.

 

So for my next couple articles, I’m going to address some of the difficulties we’ll face on our path to self-improvement. We’re going to examine some of those hard ugly truths up close and personal. We’re going to dive right into the muck and set some realistic expectations.

 

Too many people have a false notion of what it takes to make meaningful lasting change. We need to dispel those myths. We’re going to get right to the heart of the matter so we know exactly what we’re getting ourselves into.

 

This ain’t gonna be a trip to the park. It’s not going to be good times. But it sure as hell will be eye opening. Life changing, even . . .

 

Cheers!

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Comments

  1. Simple, easy, and always fair. Lies, lies, lies.

  2. I think I’m attracted to personal development not because I’m unhappy with areas of my life, but because I can be better. Sort of the same thing, but I hold a positive, future-driven mindset wherever possible.

    I have to agree with you, changing ourselves IS hard as hell. But it’s definitely the most rewarding thing, ever. Thanks for the post Trevor!

    • Pursuing personal development with the purpose of bettering yourself even when you’re happy with most aspects of your life is a very enlightened way of thinking.

      Unfortunately, for me at least, my pursuit of change was a result of a lifetime of poor choices and running from fear. I sought to fix what was broken. Still working on it.

      But you’re right, you don’t have to be unhappy to seek out change. Ideally, that’s the ultimate goal . . . to be happy with yourself and yet still always trying to improve. Thanks for pointing that out Sam.

      Cheers!

  3. I’m in agreement with Sam on this one – I don’t dislike myself, just there’s a better promise out there!

    Maybe the solution is often too simple? Why waste time on the things that ‘seem’ insignificant? Well, too bad for the people who think like that…

    Can’t wait for what’s lined up, have a great day!

    P.S. That comic is maybe the best yet in my opinion, I had a right chuckle!

    • Thanks Nick! I like how you look at it . . . “there’s a better promise out there!” I believe that’s true. We just have to find it.

      And I agree, that comic cracked me up something fierce.

      Cheers!

  4. Yup, so much truths. Personal development is no easy feat because of its vagueness and complexities within every “subcategory.”

    I wish we could just walk around and tell people “practice personal development,” but we all know as writers that will never happen. This is exactly why we will never be done writing and will never run out of things to teach. Hey, maybe that’s a good thing!

    • That’s a good point. Just what exactly is personal development? When picturing personal development, people imagine shit like practicing our breathing while we repeat “I think I can, I think I can.” And while some may go that route, that’s not the whole of what personal development is.

      What about weightlifting?

      I doubt too many people would immediately think of that as a form of personal development. But what is personal development if not the pursuit of strength?

      Think about it . . .

      Thanks for the insight Vincent!

      Cheers!

  5. This is one of my favorite topics! Personal growth and development is essential if we expect to reach our potential. When we invest in growth it has a high return on our effort and time. Great post!

    • True Dan. Few things return to us as much as an investment in our own personal development. It can be a hard road, but it’s always worth it in the end.

      Cheers!

  6. Hi Trevor,

    I love the message. I think that people are so focused on changing things outside of themselves because it takes vulnerability and courage to change from the inside. But, once we accept that lasting change, and true transformation, is inside-out it becomes a joy to take on the challenge. This is the ultimate plight of self-development, and why many live from a place of ignorance is bliss. At least in the short run. Best wishes!

    • Thanks Joe! You’re right, people are too often focused on the outcomes and the accomplishments. So they miss the most important thing — personal development is a lifelong process, and it’s the process that is what matters most. So long as we see gradual improvement throughout our entire lives, then we are successful.

      And the nice thing is that when you focus on progress first, the results tend to take care of themselves.

      Cheers!

  7. Hi Trevor,

    Yes, you are absolutely rite in saying that you need to come out of the comfort zone to see success. I am currently practicing yoga, mediation, blogging and connecting with real people like you, across the world.

    I really liked the content of your blog. However the black background is something that is stopping me from going further..I think you will get more reader engagement if you change the background to a lighter color. Please ignore if this doesn’t make sense to you..

    • You’re not the first person to say that about my black background. And I agree, it needs to be changed. But I suck at design so I keep putting it off. It’s a perpetual item on my to-do list. I appreciate your honest feedback though.

      Cheers!

  8. Hey Trevor,

    I love the cartoon. Love what you’re saying here too.

    Sometimes the answer is simple; sometimes it isn’t. We just have to make sure we’re not overcomplicating things. Sometimes we make things harder than they need to be.

    Changing yourself can be hard, but the rewards are great. That’s what I’ve learned about personal development.

    • The rewards are amazing! But the work is tough. Especially when you’re first starting out. It’s gonna hurt and there’s just no getting around it. But if you can accept that simple fact, and move forward anyway, a whole new world opens up to you. A better world.

      Cheers!

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