Pain.
It frightens us. There is nothing we fear more than pain. Physical pain. Mental anguish. Spiritual loss. It’s the same.
It’s all Hurt.
Though fear is an emotion we create ourselves, pain is real. Fucking real. We feel pain on every level of our being. It’s a part of life. We can’t avoid it. As much as we try, we cannot escape pain. I’m going to say that again . . .
We cannot escape pain.
So get that through your head. Pain is unavoidable.
Since we can’t escape pain, then we had better just learn to deal with it. Better yet, we had best learn to embrace it.
That’s right . . . embrace it.
Pain is not your enemy. Pain is there to guide you, just as your fear guides you. If you are ready, your pain will lead you to a new beginning.
In truth, there is no beginning without pain. Pain is the catalyst. It marks the end of one and the start of another.
Pain is birth.
In other words, pain is required for growth.
You will never be able move beyond your world-now until you are able to accept and utilize your pain.
You need to Hurt.
So go on. Feel it. Hurt. Look inside. You know where the pain lies. It’s there. Look at it. See your pain for what it is. And feel it. As much as you have been avoiding it, the Hurt wants to be seen. It wants to be uncovered. It’s not there to hold you back. Only you can do that. Your pain is there waiting. Waiting to be found. Waiting to help you.
If only you let it. It can’t help you if you won’t accept it. So Hurt. Just fucking Hurt.
It’s ok if you get scared. It’s ok if you cry. There’s no shame. This is for you and you only. The pain marks your rebirth.
Give it the due it deserves.
-Trevor
(Note: this post is part of the “Fiday Night Kick in the Ass series.”)
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Hey Trevor,
I’ve just stumbled across your blog via skooloflife and I must say, the first post of yours that I’ve read is just so true.
Pain is a bitch and you just can’t avoid it. I know so many people who choose to deny reality to avoid the emotional pain. But emotional pain is just one of those things that accumulates and eventually one day will overwhelm you, so it’s best to just face it a little bit at a time where you can break the cycle of pain and emerge a stronger person rather than let it accumulate to the point where it breaks you down completely.
I think that’s what makes physical pain so much more desirable than emotional pain for some people. Physical pain comes and go, it hurts at first, but you heal from it. Emotional wounds may not ever heal.
J
You’re absolutely right J, emotional pain is far worse than physical pain. And we compound that pain by keeping it locked up, believing that if we keep our backs turned to it, we’ll never have to deal with it.
But it doesn’t work that way.
One way or another, we end up changed by pain. We can try to hold it in, but the pain will slowly eat us from the inside. Or, we can face it straight on. When we do, we open the door for a new start.
The choice is ours.
I used to try to hide my pain away, and so I was stuck. Now I choose to acknowledge it, and I’m becoming a better man for it.
Thanks for stopping by J, I appreciate your insight.
Cheers!
Hey Trevor,
So funny, we agree on the same things regarding fear and pain are not to be avoided but embraced. I also had the epiphany while reading your awesome post that at least feeling something–while painful–is still better than being numb. So.
Just saw you are a new baby-blogger—Congrats!!
Shiuan
Hi Shiuan, thanks for the congrats! I’m about as baby as a baby-blogger can get. Just under 3 months now, and still not a clue what I’m doing. But having one helluva time nonetheless.
But to your point, you are absolutely right . . . if you are able to feel pain, then that means that at least you can still feel. The problem with numbing yourself is that you have to numb the good along with the bad. There is no selective numbing.
So while a little nubming might sometimes be beneficial in the short term, to help us get by without falling to pieces; long term it will only lead to deeper troubles.
Thanks for stopping by and adding to the discussion!
Cheers!
Trevor, good stuff here. My last post I talked about how it’s in the stillest pools of the heart that the smallest pebble makes the most dramatic impact. We’ve got to be seekers of discomfort in order to grow. Still waters grow stagnate.
So true. It’s always that first stone that disturbs the water most . . . and clears the stagnation.
That was a fantastic post by the way. It really had me thinking.
It’s absolutely vital that we know our pains and weaknesses if we’re to ever see real progress in life. But nothing will change if we don’t stir the pot.
Cheers!